No, I’m not getting married. I am and have been happily married for 21+ years. I just woke up this morning thinking about what couples who are about to get married should really sit down and talk about before they take the plunge. I think this must be a teenage kids thing, but other than that I have no idea where it came from. Anyway, here is my list of things you must discuss before you get married.
- Faith – Note I said faith, not religion. What is in the core of your spiritual beliefs is what is really important here.
- Children – How many, what religion, what kind of school? The list is endless when it comes to the really tough decisions that kids bring.
- Money – Are you a saver or a spender or somewhere in between? What are your short and long term money plans?
- Sex – It’s a fundamental core of a happy marriage. You want to know how compatible are your appetites as they relate to sex.
- Goals – We all have them. Do you see a way that your goals can fit together? How much will you sacrifice to help the person you love achieve their goals?
- Deal Breakers – Is she conservative and he’s a liberal? Is he racist and she is not? What are the things that you hate most in others that would kill you if it came up later in your spouse? We are not looking for tooth paste caps here, but real core beliefs that are burned into your identity.
That’s my list. I would really suggest that you speak with a clergy person or professional councilor before you assume that my list is sufficient. I will humbly submit that if said clergy or councilor does not cover all the items on my list then you darn well better do it yourself. Remember if love is blind then marriage is 20/20.
Peace
